Up With (or Even Before) the Sun

As aforementioned in a previous blog, I started my new job this week. While I love this job immensely (more on that later), it's been super hard adjusting to my new schedule of waking up at 4:30 in the a.m. for work. Combine that with me trying to keep my normal bedtime of eleven or midnight, and you've got one sleepy Veralynn. This afternoon after work, I was so tired I accidentally fell asleep at McDonald's after barely resting my head on my hand (the TV in the restaurant was tuned into CNN though, so that could be a contributing factor). This led me to the conclusion that I need more sleep. So ta da! I'm going to bed at 10 p.m. instead of midnight or later.

I've made a small pro list (instead of a pros and cons- I just need the pros here, to cheer me up and convince myself that waking up at such an indecent hour is worthwhile) of reasons I could possibly enjoy my early morning rides:

1. Each morning I see the Pacific Ocean, it brings a smile to my face.
2. The scenery other than the ocean is also quite beautiful and really helps me appreciate the area of the world I live in.
3. I can listen to at least one full Master's College podcast on my iPod and/or do a devotional on the way.
4. Lots of time for morning prayer.
5. Seeing on-duty Parker at the airport before I have to get on the bus.

So that's that! Tomorrow is Friday, and while I love all the kids I've met so far...I'm not going to lie- I'm looking forward to sleeping in on Saturday.

~VL~

An Emotional Experience

I don't know about any of you, but for me, getting a haircut is an emotional experience. I'm very attached to my hair (well, not just literally) and I don't like anyone cutting except my grandma. Well, visits to the Grandma Leos salon are getting to be fewer and fewer, especially with my new job- so I decided to go out on a limb. It was spur-of-the-moment, which is good because if I had much more time to think about it, I probably would've talked myself right on out of it. But I didn't! And I'm glad.

As soon as I walked into the salon and met Yvette (great name), I trusted her. Mostly because her hair looked fabulous, and also because when she said she could do my hair about three or four women said, "Oh, she's so good." She just gives off a good vibe, one that says, "You can trust me with your hair." (Don't judge- I love my locks!)

So anyway, off I went into the chair, with Yvette at the helm. Right away she said, "I think you'd look great with bangs."

Whoa there, missy.

I've had a love/hate relationship with bangs ever since I was little, usually more hate than love- and 90% of the time after the fact my hair would be pushed up in a headband. But there was Yvette, looking so...confident. So I said okay. And as she combed the hair into place, scissors poised, I winced a little inside- what if I hated it?

Snip, snip. Too late.

But as she whirled me around to look at my new 'do in the mirror, I took a moment to absorb and decided that I was happy! Yvette was right, she was wonderful, and my hair looked great. So now I'm sporting bangs. I feel like Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada- not because I have a horrible job with the boss from you-know-where, but in that I have amazing hair after a fab makeover.

~VL~

Ridiculously Blessed

So I'm finally one of those people who looks forward to and can truly say they love work! I started my first day at MyGym yesterday, and even though it requires me to wake up ridiculously early (could possibly be a good thing) and take the bus to Santa Barbara (also possibly a good thing- time to think and prepare myself for the day), I am already in love with my new job. Besides the fact that while waiting for work to start I saw the amazing Trainer Bob running heartily through the streets of Santa Barbara (oh it was great!), my new coworkers are a great group who seem to genuinely care about each other and are like a big group of siblings. I can't wait to get to know them better. Also, this job is constantly busy and fun at the same time, which is the best thing! Even though it was only my first day, I can tell you that I'm going to love it.

~VL~

The Happiest Kind of Days...

...have lately been at Disneyland. This last Monday was the third time Parker and I have been to Disneyland together. We have a bit of a routine now- leave early, drive (and sing) through Santa Barbara, stop in Ventura for Starbucks; take a small detour to get some pretzels from the Rockenwagner bakery (so delicious- they taste just like the ones I enjoyed daily in Germany), and then make our way to the Magic Kingdom.

I love how leisurely and fun it is for Parker and I to walk around and form a plan as we first get into the park. Our two "must-rides" are Pirates of the Caribbean and the Haunted Mansion. The second time we went, we only rode three rides (it was super busy)! This time around, we tripled the amount of rides- this could be because it was over a hundred degrees and people just decided it wasn't worthwhile to stand in line...I felt a little bit that way myself, but we stuck it out. Then later on in the day, we eat dinner at the Rainforest Cafe and then head back to the park to enjoy the cooler evening weather and see the fireworks if we're there at the right time.

I love being at Disneyland with my man. These are some of the best kinds of days!
~VL~

Oh, For the Love of Books!

Today I was looking around my room at all the books I have and thinking about some of my favorite literary characters. I have more than a few, but one in particular that I was pondering over today.

So, I don't know how many people who read my blog have read the whole Anne of Green Gables series, but you should know that it's my favorite book series ever. This is partially because I've never really read any other book series, but mostly because I love all of the books and have read them all more times than I can count. My favorite book of the series is Anne of the Island- this could be because this particular chapter of Anne's life is the one I'm in right now: college, thinking about future goals and dreams, educational aspirations, etc. This book is also my favorite because in it you will find the introduction of Phillipa Gordon, fabulous character #1. She is a lot like me in that she is a little vain (like she is always making sure her hair is perfect, she knows the boys love her...), but is happiest with verbal confirmation from others of her own opinions about her looks. She's indecisive but perfectly happy with her choices, because she always makes the right one. She wins two major academic scholarships to show her man that she's not only pretty but also "enormously clever". She's an aspiring domestic goddess but faces multiple obstacles in the kitchen, like me... Her man adores her despite all of her shortcomings and personality quirks (also like me! Sigh.) I love her.

Aren't books the best? I admire anyone who can write a believable character with such feelings, emotions, and imperfections to where I can imagine them being just the sort of person I'd have as a friend in real life.

~VL~

All Jumbled Up

This last weekend has been so confusing! Starting Thursday with the Maundy Thursday service- afterwards the Late Service crew had practice from around 8:15 to 10:45 p.m.! That's kinda what started throwing me off, since we usually just have practice Sunday afternoons. Then Saturday night we had a special Late Service (the Holy Saturday Service) which had me thinking it was Sunday...and then after Late Service Jason, Justin, and I practiced for the Easter Sunrise Service, which was Sunday morning at 6 a.m.!
Easter morning my alarm clock went off at 4:30 and I sat up and said groggily, "Hmmmmmph...I...love...Jesus..." I drove over to the church with Dad at around 5:15 and started setting up for the service. On-duty Parker was already at the church so that was great (and weird- I'm not used to waking up while he's still working!) and a group of people scurried back and forth from the church setting up chairs and getting the portable sound system set up...and lugging my keyboard outside (thanks, Jason and Collin!)...then Greg came with Starbucks for Jason, Justin, and I (which was amazing and much-needed!).
As the service started, it was encouraging to see how many people decided to wake up so early on a weekend morning to worship God, outside and in the cold. It was even more encouraging to see the people who came early to help set up chairs, put them away, and have breakfast ready after the service. (It was funny to see the looks people gave us driving by, and funnier when they decided to make faces and wave...) My favorite part was hearing everyone worship and hearing the music as the sun started coming up over the church and over the hills in the far distance. It was the joy of knowing the resolution of the Easter story, and knowing that we're forgiven because of God's love for us.
Later, the grandparents Leos came for the 11 a.m. service and lunch. They got to meet Parker before he went home to sleep, and gave their thumbs-up. And then we did the normal ritual: go back to our house, situate on the couch, watch golf, and nap. Good times.
Easter ended with my family together around the table, laughing and talking with slices of pizza in hand. I mentioned being confused because of all the services and that it didn't feel like a Sunday, to which Ernie said, "Well, at least you know tomorrow's Tuesday." And I actually had to think about it! Oy. Thankfully, today I'm back on schedule and know what day of the week it is.

~VL~

For the Moments I Feel Faint

This week has been completely weird. A bit dizzying and confusing, and painful. It all started on Sunday morning. I had to walk out of the sanctuary during first service because my allergies were acting up (they still are) and I was coughing. I was scheduled to play my flute with the children's choir, and I wondered how I would be able to pull off the song with a plugged nose and an itchy throat. As the service closed, I put my flute together and sat on the second row, mentally thinking through the song like I usually do. Then I got a text message from Ashley that completely caught me off guard- my allergies and song were the last thing on my mind. Jason's brother Jeremy had died. She asked me to tell James, so I ran to tell him and then back to the sanctuary. As we sang the hymns before the offertory, my eyes watered up despite me sternly reminding myself that I was about to play my flute and could not let myself lose it. I walked to stand behind the pianist, and I just felt weak in the knees. My lip quivered, which is the worst. I just wanted to get through the song, but my mind was in a whirlwind and my heart hurt. What do Jason and Ashley need? Maybe I can help watch Tyler. Where's Tanya, does she know? Do they need us? I can't imagine how they're feeling. Maybe we should bring Del Taco. Those were all thoughts running through my mind. (Yes, I think Del Taco is a cure-all...) The children sang, "Fairest Lord Jesus" and as the song ended I couldn't wait to get out of the sanctuary and find Tanya so we could figure out what to do. We wound up going to lunch with my family and Mr. E and getting some Del Taco for Jason and Ashley. There was a difference I could feel as I stepped into their house on Sunday afternoon- a difference from just the night before when a group of us got together to watch a movie. Stephen, Jason, and I were walking to the convenience store in Old Orcutt and Jason was telling us about how just a couple days prior he got to hang out with Jeremy and chat, just the two of them. We watched the movie, happy. We talked quietly on Sunday, different.

I didn't really know Jeremy. I saw him a lot in passing at Jason and Ashley's. Sometimes he was with our group of friends that would go out to Applebee's for dinner on a random weeknight. I do know that he loved ice cream. And he came to Late Service a few times- he'd stand on the stairs by the stage and talk to Jason afterwards- the very first time I met him we talked about the music and I was happy he liked it. He just seemed like a calm, nice guy who cared about his family and friends. I never heard him say anything negative. And always with a carton of ice cream, but so thin! I guess that's what I remember most about him.

For some reason, I don't know how to handle death and people I know dying. I mean, their body is here but they aren't? Where did they go? I mean, I know about souls and what the Bible says about where we go when we physically die, but I don't understand it. Maybe no one really does. I've never really had anyone really close to me die, which is a blessing. I can't imagine losing a brother. It hurts just thinking about it. And it hurts thinking about Jeremy. A small part I think is because he was someone who, although I didn't know very well, I did see pretty consistently over the last months and I just can't wrap my mind around him not being here. Mostly I think it's because I love Jason and Ashley, and Tyler- I hate seeing friends hurting, and there isn't anything anyone can do to fix this. It's one of the things that heals with time, and I don't know how to deal with that either.

These last few days have had me thinking about how much I treasure my loved ones and what a gift each day of life is. And how important it is to not go to sleep angry at anyone. This is where trusting God comes into light. Even if we do our best to be at peace with everyone, people will still die. But God is still in control and it's His timing. And His plan is so perfect that I'll never understand it. I'm working on trusting Him more and more each day.

~VL~

Who's the April Fool?

Not me. Well, kinda. I totally forgot it was April Fool's Day. When I remembered, I was really glad that no one tried to pull something on me, because I would've been totally clueless. I guess I was still clueless, because this afternoon when I went to PCPA to put in my application (I want to work there so badly! I love PCPA- plus employees get free and discounted tickets!), Gabby and I saw Stephen, who told us that Pepsi bought out Coca-Cola...and we fell for it. Gosh! The consequence of that being that I remained skeptical of everything Stephen said for the rest of the day.

This morning was pretty nice. I woke up around nine and read for a while in bed, just relaxing (which was really nice!)...I started dozing a little bit and was startled by my phone ringing. It was Parker asking if I wanted to go with him to Albertson's, which I did since I love going to the store with him (it's probably one of my favorite outings that we go on together). So we went a-shopping and had a fun time. I really like watching Parker shop- he's so random! Like when he'll put something in the cart at the beginning of the trip, continue shopping, and then at the last possible moment take it out of the cart and put it back. Seriously! It cracks me up.

Today I've been in deep thought (gasp!) about what to do with education-related possibilities. I've realized, after thinking I would enjoy philosophy/sociology-type things...I really don't. I like puzzles I can solve. I like systematically analyzing and dissecting things, or putting things together. I love traveling and languages (I've always loved languages), and writing. And I like helping people. I have no idea what this leads to. Oy. I hope to figure it out soon so I can maybe start moving in any sort of progressive direction.






Sigh...I just got April Fool'd again. Darn it.

~VL~

The Scheme O' Things

(This day last year, I was packing my things, getting ready to leave Germany. It's still amazing to me that a year has already gone by!)

On Sunday I walked to the place I usually sit at church to find Deja and her week-old baby, Davonna. I got to hold her during worship, and she was perfectly sweet in the usual baby way: she smelled like baby, had little baby fingers, made cute little baby faces...it was so crazy to think that she was Deja's baby girl, though! Two things I noticed about her: she has a good nose, and very long fingers (for piano playing, I've decided). Beautiful!

It's really weird to think that I'm at the place in life now where friends I've known for years are getting married and having babies! I suppose someday it'll be my turn (even more weird to think about). But as much as I loved holding little Davonna and thinking about these things, I was really content giving her back to Deja. It's a great feeling, trusting God with the timing of everything that's going to happen in my life.

This past Sunday an opportunity was brought to me to consider and pray about- a chance to play piano for the new 8 a.m. church service Grace Baptist is adding to Sunday mornings. I've really been hashing this out in my mind, because it is a different situation from the Late Service- the music is different and challenging (I like that), there's a whole new group of people I'd be playing with (that's a crazier dynamic to me), and it would also mean non-negotiable commitments in my schedule (a practice night and Sundays, of course). Also, this would literally mean staying at church all day Sundays. Being there early to practice and set up, the actual service, Sunday school and/or playing flute in the traditional service, Late Service practice, Late Service. There are little gaps of time in there, which is nice, and honestly I don't mind playing music all day long...just another thing to consider. We shall see!

On the job front, I've recently discovered two possibilities, both I'm going to try and apply for tomorrow. If anything exciting happens, I'll be sure to post it in glee. I need employment!

Yesterday Parker and I had a Scrubs marathon that lasted pretty much all day. Parker slept for half of it (maybe not half, but I didn't mind- he needs the sleep!) Beforehand we had lunch at the Jetty, and somewhere in the middle we watched something about guns on the History Channel. At some point, Parker's dad tickled my feet, thinking they were Parker's, which was funny but then had me thinking- do I have man feet (??), and Mama Parker kept trying to take pictures of me, so I hid under a blanket (I wasn't feeling photogenic). I haven't been much of a fan of getting my picture taken since Parker said I look better in person (golly). Then we had dinner and just relaxed 'til Parker was falling asleep for realsies and I needed to go home.

Oh, one more thing. Mom and I got to have an Olive Garden date and I was really happy about it! We don't to hang out very much, just the two of us, so getting to eat breadsticks and gab was a whole lot of fun.

~VL~

A Great Weekend and a Happy Day

This last weekend was the college Unite conference at Hume Lake. A group of ten of us went up from Grace Baptist (eleven if you count Stephen's gnome), and it was a good weekend of learning, hanging out, singing, and enjoying the beautiful surroundings that are Hume. We had a different speaker each chapel, with this common theme of making a decision to live for God, instead of "limping between two ideas" as one of our speakers put it. It was a more intimate feeling at this camp, I felt- the worship was personal, and the lessons practical. For some reason, though, I couldn't wait to get home. I missed my family and I missed church Sunday morning, and I missed...other people (guess who)... I think one of the best things about the weekend was that my cell phone didn't have reception and I didn't have my laptop. Those two things are definitely things I depend on but don't necessarily need. So not having them was a bit freeing. As we started getting reception on the way home, though, I got almost fifty text messages!

After we got back home, the Late Service worship team got right to practicing and, I'm not gonna lie, I felt a little bit like leaning my head on the piano and falling asleep during worship. I was so tired. Right after Late Service was over, I went home and went to straight to sleep, because the next morning I knew Parker and I were going to...

Disneyland! When my alarm went off Monday morning, I was super groggy but excited to get to spend the day with Parker. As we were getting ready to start our drive, Parker told me he had a surprise planned, so of course I got even more excited. We stopped in Ventura for Starbucks, kept driving...and as we started coming into L.A. Parker pulled out a map and told me to avert my eyes...we got off the freeway, and I was still clueless as to where we were going, and then after driving a bit more, we pulled up to a German bakery! I couldn't believe it- maybe I'm the only one who gets this excited about carbohydrates, but I almost cried. They had German pretzels. And besides the pretzels, Parker thought of it and that was the sweetest thing!

After that detour, we made our way to the Happiest Place on Earth to find it completely packed with people- on a Monday! But no matter. We walked around and rode a record-breaking two rides: Haunted Mansion and Pirates of the Caribbean, twice. It was really nice to just spend the day there together. We stayed 'til the fireworks and I was totally amazed because I've never seen the regular Disneyland fireworks.

A happy ending to a happy day.

~VL~

Lovin' Them Golden Oldies

Tonight was the Keenager/College group dinner at church, and it was great fun (I was giggling nearly the entire time)! I got to sit at the McKays' table, which was ideal, because I love those two couples and the McKay gentlemen in particular are my buddies. Tonight, I particularly noticed similarities between Mrs. Bob McKay and my grandma Joyce (or Tennessee Grandma, as Parker likes to call her). The way she talks and uses her hands when she talks- she even said, "Oh mercy!" like Grandma does! I loved it. Anyway, the dinner was really fun. Some highlights:

• When Mr. Phil McKay was asking me about Paul, one of the other ladies asked (in a hushed, shocked tone) if he was mine.
• When Mr. McKay (still Phil) asked me about my boyfriend, the unknowing portion of the table assumed he was talking about Paul (since learning he was my cute little brother, wrapped around his finger, etc.), and when Mr. McKay asked what he did for a living, one of the ladies exclaimed, "Oh! You've got a real boyfriend! Not that I didn't think it was possible. You look alright."
• During one of our quiz games about texting, having the gentlman next to me throw down his pen and say, "I don't care for this one bit. What I'd like is some more dessert."
• Before Justin and I played a contemporary song, I was known as "The flute girl." Afterwards, I heard, "You play in that Late loud band?" :)
• Hearing the phrase, "Honest Injun?" I mean, that's just fun.
• Trying to keep from laughing during prayer with Hannah and Stephen. What troublemakers.

All in all, I had a great time. The odds of anyone sitting in on Late Service this Sunday? Slim. But at least we got to spend some time together eating, laughing, and fellowshipping under one God.

~VL~

YES!

Paul is staying! I am so happy I could scream. The end.

~VL~

"You Love Me?"

Paul and I have a little game we like to play. At random times he'll come up behind me and say, "You love me?" I'll peek over my shoulder and say, "Yeah I do!" and he'll shout, "Yay!" Then I'll turn around and ask, "Do you love me?" and he'll sit for a second, tap his chin, look up mischievously and yell, "Yeah!" Then I say, "Yay!" and tickle him and hug him until we pause for breath from laughing and he says, "... again."

I think this one of my favorite things with Paul. Maybe it's when I get to put him to bed at night and he's all cuddly and sleepy. Or when he just wakes up from his nap and just wants to snuggle up on the couch. Or when I'm getting ready to go somewhere and he'll jump up from whatever he's doing and yell, "I go with you! No! Gimme hug..." and follow to me the door and latch himself to my leg. Or when he dances in the car. Or seeing how much he loves Parker (and vice versa- it's great, really).

Today's Paul trial, deciding whether he'll stay with us (so we can adopt him), or go back to his grandparents. It's been a very distracting day, so I've been passing the time by really trying to prepare my heart for a decision either way. I'm just constantly amazed by how much I love this boy. He's only been in my life for a couple months, and I can't imagine life without him. His presence at home has shifted us as a family- not uncomfortably, just enough that if he weren't there we'd have an unmistakeable Paul-shaped void that only his little self could fill. I'm sure if God has decided that he won't be a part of our family, we'll learn how to move forward again without him. I just hate the thought, and don't want to entertain it unless we have really have to.

I never imagined me feeling this way about another sibling. When my parents talked about getting their foster care license here in Santa Barbara County so we could adopt another boy (they're done with girls, apparently- whatever), I was opposed. Through the whole process I was opposed. I just could not imagine another person fitting into our family and keeping the equilibrium like it's been for the past years since Krystal and Krystine became my sisters.

Then one day my parents got that call about Paul, and once I knew he was coming I immediately closed up because, I'm not gonna lie, foster care has been an emotional rollercoaster for the Leos family- and I didn't know if I could handle it if this kid came and then just left (I still don't know how I would handle it). The day Paul came I was with Parker, and I told him I was scared. But the moment I saw his little face, heard his laugh, saw him play with the girls...my heart couldn't help but open and be completely lost in Paul love. Now don't get me wrong- he has tantrums, throws things, hits, spits food- but that's all part of loving him no matter what. I love him as much as I love Ernie (don't tell him I said that, though), Krystal, and Krystine. My family's just a constant reminder to me that this kind of God-given love crosses beyond blood.

I'll update after the social worker comes and gives us the decision. I can hardly take the anticipation!

~VL~

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage...You Get the Drift

Before you get any funny ideas, I'm actually not talking about myself. I am talking about the ridiculous numbers of my friends or people that I know who are either recently engaged, married, or expecting a visit from the stork at any moment. It's crazy business. Girls I used to be in band with in junior high are having babies! Friends are getting hitched left and right! What is going on?! I feel dazed and slightly confused.
It's especially weird to see a girl I used to be so close to going through these changes. I mean, this time last year, she was in New York and I was in Germany, exchanging nanny horror stories! Now she's due in a month with a baby girl and future plans with her boyfriend in the works...my mind really hasn't wrapped around it yet. How does this happen in less than a year? (I mean, I know how it happens. Oy.) Seriously, this last year has gone by faster than any other year I can remember, with more changes and experiences- it really blows my mind.
As for me? I am content. I've got a lovin' man (yay- he is fantastic!) and the cutest siblings (minus Ernie, he's macho) I can snuggle with- and lavish any possible maternal instincts I may have on them, too. Life's a happy balance of work, school, friends, ministry...what more could a girl ask for?

~VL~

Shoots and Ladders

I've been part of that unfortunate group lately who's had a multi-week (and multi-faceted) cold virus. It's no fun... starting off like a regular cold, mine's gone from better to a little cough, to a long cough, to a just plain nasty cough, back to a regular cold but still with the nasty cough. I could sum up how I feel about this in one of Paul's phrases: "Stupid stupid stupid!" I just feel yucky.

There is a definite upside to life though, and that is laughter. Ashley says she just hangs out with me because I laugh at everything- this is true. Even when I'm mad I laugh (and this usually makes me more upset). Sometimes it's the most inappropriate things that make me giggle ("The Count Censored" video on Youtube, for example- I didn't giggle at that one as much as I cried laughing)... or the best timed joke makes me burst out in glee. Sometimes jokes take me a second (I can be real slow sometimes) but I still laugh; I also laugh just as much the second time as the first (but not the third time- then it's just old). I laugh at myself (tonight I made a giant idiot out of myself in front of the kids I babysit for the Greek class- let's just say I started standing up but ended on my back staring at the ceiling... not on purpose...)... I just love to laugh! Anyway, Monday night I was at Parker's and his mom was cutting his hair in the backyard and when she was finished she said to him, "Okay, now take your shirt off and shake it." Parker replied, "If I only had a nickel for every time someone's said that to me..." and it still makes me laugh every time I think about it. Oy, am I silly or what?

Since my ride-along I have been having dreams with me shooting guns a la Angelina Jolie in Mr. and Mrs. Smith and similar... this is not normal. I generally do not care about guns- neither anti nor pro- so this is a weird occurrence. Parker declares I am a hippie liberal who is anti-guns (he decided this when he discovered I loaned out a book by Noam Chomsky from the library) but you shouldn't believe him for a second. Guns are...guns. That's about all I've thought about them and I'd like my normal dreams back now, please and thank you!

Paul's court date is Thursday. Hopefully it doesn't get continued again.

The Nyquil should be kicking in any second...

~VL~

A Novel Idea

I should be going to sleep right now but I really want to write this blog. It's been brewing in my mind for a couple days, since I found four books at the thrift store. Wouldn't you know, when I'm looking for nothing in particular, I do judge a book by its cover? That's how I stumbled across these new finds. To decide which one to read first, I read the very first sentence of the first chapter. Here's what I've got (I'll tell you the titles of the books after):

"I never knew her in life."

"A white light seeped through the shoji windows and into the room, along with the morning chill."

"Seven years ago, I had my first tutorial in becoming a man."

"To borrow, and slightly bend, a line from the movie Kindergarten Cop, Arnold Schwarzenegger is like the ocean."

What kind of crazy mix do I have going on here? The first line is from The Black Dahlia, the second from The Street of a Thousand Blossoms, the third from Self-Made Man, and the fourth from Why Arnold Matters: The Rise of a Cultural Icon. I have no idea what any of these are about (except maybe for Dahlia- I saw the preview for the movie- and obviously the last is about the Governator), so I'm excited to read and see what they're all about.

Some people have plans of what books they'll read and when (and sometimes I wish I did, especially when all the used bookstore shelves are coughing up are dusty cookbooks and romance novels...). But so far I've found it to be a lot more interesting to have no plan at all.

~VL~

Mmm...Thrifty

Someone said to me last week, "Thrift stores are so last year." To that I say, boo on you! I have been finding nothing short of amazing things in Santa Maria's fine thrifting (is that a word?) establishments these last two Saturdays. The tally?

Four books

Four nice comfy shirts

Three dresses

Three skirts

Two black cardigans (one nice and one pretty)

A pair of Seven jeans 

A pair of regular jeans (Seven jeans get their own category)

A cream colored cropped cardigan

A toasty Hollister vest (that I intend to take to college winter camp- it's perfect!)

A pretty white shirt by Express

(A partridge in a pear tree? Sadly, not on sale)

And all this for under the cost of the aforementioned Seven jeans at regular price. Yippee! I do love shopping.

~V.L.~

  

Im Rückblick (In Retrospect)

I've been thinking in German ever since I woke up this morning. Often random German words come to me in thought, or a phrase of annoyance comes out every now and then (it's really funny to me that the German phrases that stick in my mind mostly are exclamations of disdain and how to order a pretzel). But today is a little different because a year ago on this day I was on an airplane en route to Germany. It's so crazy to think that a whole year has gone by since I left warm, sunny California for frozen, snowy Germany. All the emotions, anticipations, reality checks, language barriers and victories- it was a hard but ultimately changing and shaping experience. I realized in a new way how much I love my family and friends and what a great thing it is to have a strong support system, but also how much I really do love traveling and experiencing the world in more ways than just reading about it. I can't wait until my next trip!

I'll always love you, Deutschland!

There's Only So Much Of Nothing I Can Take

... and it's not very much. I guess something I've realized lately (reinforced by Dad in a recent conversation) is that I'm an all-or-nothing girl. Recently I've felt that  the private, personal aspects of my relationship with God are leaning more towards nothing than all. Other parts of it are doing well- I love love love Sundays for just the time that I get to spend with church family and close friends, under one roof, worshiping  God together, learning about His promises and how we can bring Him everything we have every day of our lives. Ministry through the Late Service is so meaningful and I am totally committed to serving God through that outlet. This last weekend I was really sick with a nasty cold- for the morning service I was miserable and Parker got some medicine and Vitamin Water and took me home so I could rest. I fell asleep and woke up feeling just the same and knew that I couldn't play at Late Service that night. Spending that time at home was definitely not the way I wanted to spend Sunday night, but it did give me a lot of time to think. And what I realized is that, as bad as it sounds, maybe the way I look at Sunday is all wrong. I'm involved in all the ministry, the fellowship, the worship, and figure it will get me through the week. To be completely honest, my spiritual life Monday through Saturday is pretty pitiful. And it's gotten to the point where I can't ignore how it's affecting my relationship with God. 

Today marked the inauguration of a new President. All over the news, a word has been repeated again and again. What's the word on the street? Change. And, with diligence and support, a change for the better- for the best.

~V.L.~

Before the Nyquil Kicks In...

I would just like to have it on record that I do not enjoy being sick. Especially on Sundays!

~V.L.~