Interrupted Bliss

I usually hate summertime (much more of a fall and winter girl), but that has changed since Miles has become more independent and outdoor-loving. On those hot days that verge on almost unbearable, we throw our swimsuits on and head to Pismo. Usually my sisters come with us, and we spend the afternoon following Miles around the beach while he chases birds, collects shells, and maintains a calculated distance from the water. We've been going quite a bit, and he's even added "beach" to his vocabulary, which I love. It makes me so happy to see him running around in his little wetsuit and digging holes to climb into. He's definitely a California kid.

Between those moments of playing at the beach or running in the sprinklers, we have spent a lot of time just the two of us- going to the park, reading, making up silly new games. He is constantly growing and changing into this little boy who can articulate his needs and wants and, to my delight, speak his affection. Does it really get any better than when your baby says, "Luh loo!" and gives you a kiss? No. No it does not.

This summer is a very crazy schedule school-wise because I'm taking twelve units in eight weeks. I love the craziness, though. It tests my time management way more than I'm used to, but it's great. I just keep reminding myself, "Only four more weeks!" and then it's on to the next semester, which is going to be huge and daunting but I'm excited and ready (two words I don't usually use when it comes to statistics and pre-calculus, but I'm trying to be optimistic!).

As you can see, I've been a very busy bee. I will try and post more- trust me, I have lots to talk about...it's just finding the time to write it all out!

Light at the End of the Tunnel

In the next couple of days I'll be finishing this semester- whew! This is the first semester I've taken full-time units since Miles has been born and it has been both challenging and extremely rewarding. The most noticeable challenge has been sleep deprivation, since I most often will do my homework after Miles has gone to bed; however, Parker has been absolutely amazing in waking up with Miles a lot of the time so I can rest a little bit more. I really couldn't imagine a better support than him throughout the whole process of me going back to school.

As I was thinking about the "light at the end of the tunnel" in terms of school and more long-term goals, I realized that Parker and Miles are such sources of happiness and love for me on a daily basis. I get caught up a lot of the time in thinking toward the future, but I have been reminded recently that it's just as important to focus on the present time and soak up moments with my family. Admittedly, I do also look forward to what's coming in terms of school because I've been working really hard and it's nice to see the progress. I'm getting to the point now where it's going to be all "fun" classes and that will be a huge reward in and of itself because I'll get to take classes I really enjoy.

When all is said and done, I'm really enjoying where our path is going as a family- Parker has a great job that he loves, Miles will be heading to preschool in January (!), and I will continue on with school and maybe go back to work. We are really blessed.

I hope you're having a great weekend!

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is always a day where I do a lot of reflecting on the mothers I've known and my own journey to motherhood. It's a celebration of the joy and inexplicable gratitude of being a mama to Miles; it's also a little bit of sadness for the pregnancies that didn't make it. One thing's for sure: being a mama has changed me. I look at other mothers who do things differently and my first inclination is no longer to judge, but to be open to ways different than my own. When I'm judged, I still freak out a little (after all, who wants to be told that you aren't doing something right, especially when it comes to your own child?) but quickly realize that what I'm doing is what's best for my boy and my family, and I have peace in that. 

Mothers come in all forms. Some of the women I've learned from the most don't have any children of their own. But they've mothered me, influenced me, and I look to them for inspiration. I'm thankful for my own mom, grandmothers, aunts, in-laws, and friends who all mean so much me and who now mean so much to Miles. I don't know what I'd do without you all.

Happy Mother's Day!

Park Hoppin'

Miles and I have been loving the park lately. I usually drive to Starbucks, get my drink and a slice of pumpkin bread for Miles, and then head over to the park where we spend lots of time laughing and playing together. I think my favorite part about going to the park is that normally there isn't a time limit to how long we can stay. It's just a time where everything else fades and it's just me and my boy (although lately we've been bringing my sisters along or meeting friends for playdates). He is growing so much- now he climbs the play structure and can go down the slides all by himself! I love him. Here are some pictures of our recent park outings:

Our Week (In a Nutshell)

Our Week (In a Nutshell) is back! It takes a surprising amount of effort to remember to chronicle our weekly happenings, so I'm making it a priority because Miles is growing and changing so much each day. I don't want to forget anything! He is such a little character lately- constantly making new faces and saying new words. Right now his favorites are "stuck", "yuck", and "truck". (Here's to hoping he doesn't get wind of a certain other word that ends with "uck"!) His favorite thing in the whole wide world is seeing the garbarge truck on Tuesdays- his face lights up and he is mesmerized. It's also maybe my favorite thing in the whole world right now...his joy is infectious.

Pure joy!

Miles's thoughts on the new Bravo show "Married to Medicine"

"Miles, crayons aren't for eating" = The Lip

We took our pups, Gus and Roscoe, to the vet for their yearly checkup and they did great! They are such sweet, goofy dogs and it's so fun to see how much they love walking around with Miles in our yard. Sometimes I feel like Gus and Roscoe are like my first two "fur babies", as I've heard some people call their pets. They have been with Parker and I since we were married and I'm glad Miles will get to grow up with them.

I've been so busy lately! Next Thursday, we're flying to New York City for our long weekend. I can't believe how quickly it's creeping up on us but I'm excited and ready to experience everything NYC has to offer. I've got what I'm calling my "New York best" outfits ready and I have tons of lists (yes, I'm a list maker) of what to pack, our restaurant reservations, what to get ready for Miles, etc. I don't feel like I can sleep well without my lists!

School is going well- I'm in the final seven weeks of the semester and my nose is most definitely to the grindstone. It's nonstop but I really do like being busy. I still have my normal time with Miles, get my homework done whenever he's asleep, and still sneak in my workouts! I thrive on this type of schedule, but I did enjoy the spring break last week.

I hope you all are having a great week!

Make Up Your Mind Already

I am both a very decisive and indecisive person. Is that possible? To make up your mind and never look back, or to sometimes make up your mind and then kinda take quick peeks backward to make sure you're still happy with the decision you've made? I am constantly weighing options. Mostly about school, a lot of the time about shoes or hairstyles and sometimes relationships or family. For example, do I want more babies? The answer in my mind's Magic 8 ball right now is try again later. I am actually very much at peace with the fact that right now I do not want to try to get pregnant. 

For things like career, I've written before about being indecisive in that area. I find it a luxury that I can even be indecisive. I am wholeheartedly continuing my midwifery studies (because, after all, I love birth and I love the science behind it); meanwhile, I have other dreams. I'd love to design and produce a clothing line, or someday open a restaurant. I've had those dreams for years. Sometimes I feel like it's not okay to want to do so many things- this may be my trashy reality TV love talking, but don't the Real Housewives always get harassed for saying, "Oh, my store opens next week, my book is being released in the summer, and my new hit single will be out in the fall"? It almost seems like it's frowned upon to have your fingers in any more than one pie.

I'm taking it one day at a time, but always dreaming and planning and, of course, studying like crazy. I am taking two classes now and have three more starting in April. It's going to be a mad dash to the end of the semester, but I'm ready. 

And now, some photos from this last weekend. Whenever I see these I instantly feel joy and know that a few of my dreams have already come true.

I love his little face and all its expressions.

He's such a little charmer.

My guys. 

Fearless.

Walking with my boy.

He'd much rather push the stroller than be in it!

 Have a great week!

Foiled Again

This last weekend I was all over the place! Saturday was my brother's birthday so my mom, sisters, Miles, and I drove to Bakersfield and spent the afternoon with Ernie and my "brother from another mother", Corey. Miles had a blast walking all around their bachelor pad and figuring out how to unplug everything he possibly could. Ernie showed Miles how to use the Xbox controller and crawled with Miles up and down the stairs. It's always fun for me to see how my brother loves Miles and vice versa, especially since Ernie was mainly just my little pesky brother until a year or two ago. Seeing him living in another city so far away made me realize that we really are grown up. Well, mostly.

We decided to go get some dinner before heading home, so we went to Famous Dave's. There was a bit of a wait and Miles was already getting antsy, so I put Miles in the sling and we walked around the restaurant several times. He snuggled in happily and it made my heart happy to have him there with me.

On the drive home from Bakersfield, Miles was having a hard time falling asleep in the van and even though he had a bottle and a blanket, he was crying inconsolably until I turned around (my mom was driving), put my hand on his leg, and said, "Mama's here, honey. You can go to sleep and I'm right here." I gave him some reassuring pats for a few minutes and I watched him fall sound asleep. I know it doesn't seem like much, but it really made me feel good that Miles needed me in that way. The fact that he knows I'm there for him when he's tired but can't fall asleep, even though he's fallen asleep on his own so many nights before and for every night since. It just reminded me how much I love my independent boy but that I am right there, available for him whenever he needs me.

On Sunday, I drove to my grandparents' house in Santa Clarita to have my grandma color and cut my hair. It was a great day with her and I love my new 'do! I felt like I was having a real Kate Middleton moment and I kept sneaking looks in the mirror for the rest of the day.

I wound up staying in Santa Clarita later than I thought I would, but that meant I got to see my great-grandpa Cipriano at dinner and I hadn't seen him for a while so that was really special. I can't believe he is ninety-one years old- he certainly doesn't look like it and he was as charming as always!

I hope you all are having a great week!

CheeZe + Other Things

So, remember on my last post how I was all like, "Yeah! Fast food sucks! I haven't even given a drive-thru a second look!" and nonchalantly rocking this new diet change? I haven't caved and I'm super happy about that, but I have wanted to and it has been difficult to drive past McD's and into the health food store for a green juice. However, I do feel much better after having the juice so I try and focus on that. Miles is all for the juice and fresh fruits and veggies so that's an added bonus and I love mealtime where he and I can sit and eat together. Oh, and before I move on, I just want to reiterate that it is of the utmost importance to keep kinds of the "right" foods in the house! Between shopping trips is where things get real real.

Not as bad as it looks!

I've been doing a lot of research and looking into all these different diets (vegan vs. vegetarian vs. Paleo vs. Anne Hathaway's Les Mis diet) and instead of looking at where they differ, I've realized that they are all suggesting a plant-based diet (with the exception of Anne's starvation diet- obviously not suggesting it!). This isn't so bad- over the last month I've eaten way more veggies than I'm used to and I not only survived but also feel pretty good- however I know that I love bread, macaroni and cheese (note: I tried the Amy's Vegan Mac n' CheeZe- you know something isn't going to taste right if it's spelled with a Z- and did not enjoy it), and other things that definitely aren't "plant based". What I realized is that changing habits is a very slow process and it doesn't need to be all or nothing from the beginning. Changes take time, and all I need to do is the best I can. If I enjoy some real mac n' cheese every once in a while, it's okay. But I need to make sure I'm getting in a mostly plant-based diet. I forsee a juicer in my future.

Since 2013 is the Year of the Snake (my year) and my goals are to relearn how to take care of myself, what dietary change should I try next? I am thinking March will be No Dairy March. Gulp. That scares me and it's probably a sign that I should go for it.

Here's some photos of Miles and I from this last weekend (we are hoping to be in the next installment of Sakura Bloom's Sling Diaries so my sisters took pictures of Miles and I doing our evening neighborhood walk)!

We're always goofing around...

One of my favorite reasons to babywear- snuggles!

On our walk

Daily uniform- yoga wear, hat, and shoes without socks

I hope you're all having a great week!

Halfway!

"Enjoy your vegan cheese and lentil soups, sucker!"

I'm excited to say that Fast-Food Free February is already halfway over! I am feeling pretty great and have really only felt like caving once- two days ago, when Parker brought In-N-Out home for his dinner. It smelled so so good. Words can't describe how I wanted to jump into the car and get myself a cheeseburger and a chocolate shake! Thankfully, I stuck to my goal and today I when I stepped on the scale I noticed a new low which was a nice little incentive to keep going!

I thought I'd share one of my new substitutions for my typical Starbucks drink along with some of my guides and inspirations for eating better:

I've started ordering the Light version and the taste isn't different enough to keep ordering the regular version, which is great. If I absolutely need to have whipped cream I can just add it but I'm starting to get used to not having any. 

I've been watching various food documentaries on Netflix like Food, Inc. and Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead, and I've started thinking more and more about trying a vegan diet. Don't get me wrong, I still love a beautiful leather bag, shoes, or jacket- I just want to see the difference a vegan diet would make in how I feel, my energy level, my skin, and my weight. I think my favorite movie I've watched so far is Food Matters because although it recommends a total vegan diet, it comes from an approach of "do what you can" instead of quitting every food you know and love cold turkey. I definitely recommend watching this movie first.

As far as books go, the two I've read are Skinny Bitch and Mama Glow. They are both great for practical tips on what to avoid and lists of foods to try. If you're trying to get pregnant, Mama Glow has a pre-conception chapter that will help prep your body for pregnancy (and, of course, focuses mainly on pregnancy, birth, and motherhood).

Have you ever tried a vegan or vegetarian diet? If not, would you ever consider it? I'd love to hear.

Happy Weekend!

Baby Steps, Part II

photo credit

I have to tell you all that this is possibly the slowest week I've experienced in a long time. I decided that for the month of February, I wouldn't eat any fast food. I know to some of you this is no big deal, but for me this is hopefully the first baby step in what will be a lifelong appreciation for my physical body and what it is capable of.

Since Miles was born it had just become so much easier to head to the nearest drive-thru and grab something I could eat in the car on my way home. The more I thought about this new habit, the more I felt grossed out by it. Obviously, the number on the scale started going up bit by bit and then I just felt helpless and grossed out and tired. Once Miles was old enough to start on solids, I researched to no end and put all my efforts into making sure Miles was introduced to healthy foods; meanwhile, I didn't care at all what was going into my own body. The New Year came and went, taking a pregnancy with it. When I had the miscarriage I just felt foggy and so physically heavy with sadness that I didn't even feel like eating- when I did, it was fast food. A big part of why I'm going back to the basics of eating well is because I'm desperately trying to find tangible ways to treat my body more carefully and with respect, because all I've felt lately is that it's a failure which just disappoints me again and again. I think it's normal to feel that disappointment; however, my body also gave me the gift of Miles and the ability to nourish him in his first months of his life. The more I study science, the more I appreciate the endless to-do list that my body goes through every second of every minute of every day, just to function as it should. I am starting to see the value in this body, and I am grateful for it.  

Like many of the realizations I've had since becoming a mother, Miles has inspired me to live more fully in ways I never expected. Before he started walking on his own, he would grip my hands so tightly that it would cut off circulation to my fingers. We've walked this way together for months, and I don't know what changed in his mind on that first day he decided to finally let go and try to walk on his own, but the look of pure joy on his face when he realized for himself what he can do- that was my inspiration. It's been a week now and I can already tell a difference in my energy level and, overall, I feel pretty darn great. That's not to say that I don't crave a cheeseburger, but I have plenty of healthy alternatives stocked up in my fridge and that has been key in keeping hunger and the temptation to drive-thru at bay. So, while I'm cautiously optimistic about continuing on, I do still have twenty-one days to go! Keep your fingers crossed for me.

PS- If you have any go-to recipes that are healthy and somewhat quick to prepare, leave a link or the recipe in the comments! I'm planning on trying some new ones in the next weeks and I will share all my favorites.

Much love to you all!

Baby Steps

Over the last week and a half Miles has really started walking to the point where he is now walking just as much, if not a little more, than he crawls. In the beginning I really slathered the praise on thick, clapping and saying, "Yay!" every time he would walk, sway, and then plop onto his little cushion of a diaper. I soon realized that as soon as he would walk anywhere he'd glance back at me for praise, so I started trying to help him realize that he should be proud of himself instead of constantly looking back for validation. I started saying things like, "Look at you walking! You must love going from room to room!" and he would smile proudly and continue on his way. Now walking is becoming a normal part of his day and I can tell how much he enjoys his newly discovered method of transportation. As a mama, I certainly feel so proud of my baby boy! If I feel this much joy out of his steps, I can't imagine how I'll feel in other upcoming moments like riding a bike or going to school...sniff.

I have to tell how how proud this last photo makes me. He is so my child! I make this face all the time and I can't help but love every inch of his little stinker mug.

 Happy Monday!

Feeling the Chemistry

The semester has started and I am loving it. I'm feeling really confident and I earned a 100% on my first quiz, which was exciting and has infused me with energy for the coming weeks. One week down, sixteen to go!

I'm going to kick this semester in the boo-tay!

What else has been going on? Well, Miles has really been walking a lot. I love it! He toddles around with his little arms up for balance and it is probably the cutest thing I've ever seen (although I always say that about him). Last weekend, we helped my brother move out of his apartment and Miles had a great time crawling between all of us and then just took off walking across the living room, doing his dinosaur growl the whole time. He is such a little ham.

He could watch me turn my bedside lamp on and off all day and still get excited each time! He loves lights!

Walking with Uncle Ernie

My little baby is turning into a boy in what feels like a blink! 

I can't believe Miles is thirteen months old already. Even in just looking from last month to this month, he is so different- new teeth, new steps, new words... My absolute favorite thing is when he gives me hugs and kisses, because he's definitely not a clingy baby. To have my independent little explorer want to stop for a little cuddle time is always welcome and I treasure it with all my heart!

And, of course, before I go...new shoes! They're soft leather ballet flats from Zara with an embellished heel. They're a twist on a classic but I get so many compliments because I suppose people really notice a little extra bling!

Happy Thursday!