November 27, 2012
I've Got a Fever...
Let's be clear: little Zachary was perfectly calm and sweet. My normally calm and sweet Miles was practically throwing himself down in a "rit of fage", as Parker likes to say. This carried on pretty much all day, with only a pause for a brief morning nap. I would've been completely and totally overwhelmed if not for visits with family throughout the day. My sisters kept Miles distracted and occupied while I rocked Zachary and fed him his afternoon bottles. After baby Z left, Miles crawled to me immediately and gave me many slobbery kisses with his arms around my neck. My sweet boy was back!
So that settles it: I'm not ready! Who knows if I'll ever be ready. I know that for me personally, more than one baby would not be a good fit for our family right now and it would mean giving up certain things that I'm not willing to give up. Like my sanity (again, I am not criticizing mamas of more than one child. I am in awe of you!). Maybe later this will change.
At the end of the day, it was good to get some clarity on my baby fever and realize, as my friend Morgan said recently when I asked her if she had The Fever: "Yes, but I'm not going to do anything about it!"