May 7, 2012

Sweet N' Low Moments

May is here! It's hard to believe that by the end of next month, Miles will be six months old. Sometimes I just shake my head in amazement at how much my sweet little boy is changing each day. He rolls all over the place now, and is very wriggly at diaper changes. He loves going on walks or pseudo-runs (the actual "running" is very limited) in the stroller My heart just wants to burst when breaks out his dimpled, toothless smile or when he rests his little hand on my chest during his midnight nursing. I'm constantly surprised at how much he's developing and learning about the world around him and I just want him to soak it all up.

Last week, we took Miles to his four-month doctor's appointment and were shocked to discover that he hadn't gained any weight since his two-month checkup. Long story short, he wasn't getting enough milk from me to gain the weight he needed. The doctor brought in some cans of formula and my initial thoughts were a mixture of sadness (because, although at times I feel like breastfeeding is inconvenient, I really enjoy the bonding, snuggles, and knowledge that it's best for Miles), anger (because I felt like my body had failed me and Miles), and relief (because no matter what, I don't want my son to go hungry!). After the doctor's appointment, I met with Kathleen- my straightforward and motherly, honest-to-goodness Godsend of a lactation consultant- and even she felt I needed to supplement with formula while we worked things out. Admittedly, I was disappointed at this situation at first, but it just sparked this feeling in me that I don't want to give up on breastfeeding until I've done everything I can since this will be the only time in Miles's life that he will need me in this way.

The spring semester is almost over, and my days are busy with studying and finishing the term on a high note. Summer session starts in about a month, and I'll be taking four classes. I was surprised to find that I received a scholarship covering tuition for my courses and I have been smiling ever since.

Excited for things to come!
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